In My Life, an interpretation

   

    This song, In My Life by The Beatles, has always had a special place in my heart. I remember discovering this song when I was around 14 years old, which I consider one of the most turbulent stages of my life. I was finding myself and my way from being a pre-teen to adolescence, in an environment that felt strange along with being surrounded by things that felt uncomfortable to me. Surprisingly, this song gave me comfort and serenity, I used to listen to this in the morning when I was walking to school, a place I considered living hell back then. When I was at that age, I was merely attracted to the melody and rhythm of the song. As I get older, I got more indulged in the meaning of the song and how the lyrics have a deeper connection to me and life. Through this writing, I'd like to share my interpretation of the song, and you'll see why I cherish this timeless masterpiece. 

There are places I'll remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead, and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I love you more

In my life, I love you more

To put it into place, this song is about the singer expressing his love for someone special. Rather than just blurting out "I love you" and says why he loves her, he expresses his profound feelings by comparing them to his past. In order to express his love, he first appreciates and acknowledges everything he has known and cherished in the past, which I find beautiful. By comparing and respecting his past and how even those embraced feelings can't surpass his love for his lover, just shows how strong his feelings are.  

I am currently in an age of still discovering myself and what I want to achieve, adulting basically. Although I still consider myself young, I have learned many things in the 24 years of living. Rereading through my old stories in this blog gave back so many memories,  I can clearly remember where I was, and what I was feeling, the moment I was writing the exact post. Many things have happened ever since the first posts were published, which made me think if I were to go back 10 years ago and meet myself, would my 10-year younger self be proud of the person I became today?

Growing up has been about gaining, losing, growing, failing, and learning. The places and people that I have come to know have shaped and contributed, even in the smallest way, to my present self. To be frank, there have been moments where I regretted the decision I took, however thinking back, those regretful decisions led to some unexpected turnouts. The decision which I thought was regretful, led me to meet amazing people and friends, brought me to new places, and gave me new experiences that might have been missed if I didn't take the chance. Simply put, I embrace all my past experiences, no matter how hard, shit*y, or challenging it might be.

As the line goes "Some have gone and some remain, All these places had their moments, With lovers and friends, I still can recall", I come to realize that change is something that can't be prevented. People grow, prosper, and bloom in their own respective way. The more you experience, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more your perspective widens. Hence, the experiences will eventually affect you and change you as a person, whether you realize it or not. Due to the dynamism of humans, it can take effect on friendships too. I guess that's part of growing up, you either grow with each other or outgrew each other. Sad as it may seem, I am thankful for the people who have come to my life, whether they have remained or not, as the line goes "Though I know I'll never lose affection, For people and things that went before"

Talking about life and things that have passed seems to not have an ending, as there are many things that can be learned from. Out of the things that have happened, one lesson that I have taken and cherish most is: trust the process. It's okay to be doubtful or regretful of our choices, who are we to make a prediction of what our future holds? In the midst of what seems to be a never-ending cycle of chasing things, be it school or work, try to take time to reflect on things you appreciate such as what and those who are around you, as the lyrics go "In my life, I've loved them all". 

Although the overall message of the song is expressing his love to his lover by comparing it to his past, I interpret it as no matter who you love or where you are in life, acknowledging and cherishing your past is one of the steps to fully accept yourself. Once you fully accept yourself, with all your stories, ups, and downs, your storm and sun, your bad and good days, you will be able to share your wholehearted love with another person to an extent where your present feelings are deeper than those we've embraced in the past. 

Time may pass, people may change, places may disappear, affections may vanish, but memories remain. That being said, let's all live a worthful life, so that in the future our present self is cherished by our somewhat-hopefully-more-advanced-and-experienced-self. 

Hello 2019!

Goodbye 2018, hello 2019!

2018 has been my favorite year so far and sad that it passed by so fast! This year I got the chance to travel to many places and met many wonderful people. I finished my university and got my first internship as well. This year has been really finding out about myself, searching for my passion, and purpose. And although I haven't found it yet, I hope that I'll be able to do so in 2019. Nevertheless, 2018 still gave me memorable moments and lessons, especially after experiencing travelling to many cities and countries. I was able to learn different cultures and norms from different societies which I find fascinating of the infinite amount of diversity that the world has. 

Without further or due, I'd like to share the places I've been to and the most memorable moments of my 2019! <3 div="" nbsp="">

Istanbul, Turkey

Mallorca, Spain

London, England

Hong Kong

Seoul, South Korea

Yogyakarta, Indonesia

Sumba, Indonesia

7 months in Kingston University

Halo semuanya! (padahal gue doang yang baca)

Ngga kerasa udah 7 bulan sejak nyampe di Kingston, dan bulan depan udah pulang lagi. Sejujurnya gue nervous karna sebentar lagi insyaAllah (amin) kuliah selesai. Alhamdulillah selama disini ngga begitu ada kendala besar dan sangat nyaman, pengen S2 disini jadinya hehehe we'll see ya.

Sejauh ini yang bikin gue berkesan adalah gue ikutan society gamelan di kampus dan waktu itu perform di salah satu gereja disini. Gue main salah satu instrumen (lupa namanya apa haha) dan setelah itu sinden bahasa jawa! For the first time eva. Ada hikmahnya juga pas kelas 6 SD ujian musiknya nyinden bahasa sunda haha. Moreover, gue waktu itu ngelatih tim saman untuk Indonight 2018, itu acara yang diadain Indosocnya Imperial College. Super senang karna hasilnya sangat memuaskan dan keren2 banget orang2nya! Banyak yang baru pertama kali tapi langsung bisa yuhuu.

Waktu bulan Desember gue nonton live Queen di Wembley Stadium. One of the best nights of my life 😭 awalnya gue ngga tertarik nonton karna vokalisnya Adam Lambert, tapi setelah gue liat videonya dan masih ada 2 member asli (Brian May and Roger Taylor) gue langsug pengen nonton! Kapan lagi bisa nonton band legendaris live ya gaks. Waktu gue mau cari tiketnya ternyata udah sold out huhu beruntung aja karna ternyataada website khusus tiket yang resell. Akhirnya gue beli bareng Nizma karna dia juga suka Queen yeaaay. Pas hari H gue nonton sama Nizma, Tamara, Manda, dan Amyra. Yang nonton kebanyakan orang tua jadi pas di dalem ngga rusuh dan kita bisa nyelip2 ke depan dengan gampang hahaha. All I can say is the concert was AMAZING! Ternyata Adam Lambert super bagus dan ressemble so much of Freddie, gak heran kalau member Queen mempercayai dia. Ohiya gue juga nangis pas di konsernya karna ada bagian Brian May main gitar terus tiba2 ada Freddie di layar huuu so zad. But it was worth every penny, semoga di masa depan mereka ke Asia ya :')

Bulan Februari gue ke Turki sekalian visit ka Icha. Speechless.. Istanbul is just soooo beautiful! Gue suka banget dan pengen banget kesana lagi. Suasanya super adem dan masjid dimana2 :') terharu banget waktu denger adzan dengan suasanya Eropa ciyah. Plus makanannya super enak dan mure2! Selama disana kerjaannya minum teh cay dan nyari2 kucing wkwk karna kucing2nya super banyak, genday, dan gak galak :)) 

Living in London, well Kingston to be exact

Halo semuanya!

Sekarang gue udah berada di Kingston, Surrey. Jadi sebenarnya dia masukn zona 6 kota London kalau di transportasi. Gue tiba disini tanggal 26 September 2017. Sebenernya rencana awalnya adalah tiba tanggal 7 September, tapi ternyata visa gue ditolak huhu, jadinya harus buat lagi deh dari awal..

Pas dateng gue langsung menuju ke rumah, disini gue sharing sama 5 cewek lain. Rumahnya super enak karna literally dibelakang kampus haha, jadi ngga takut telat deh.

Sejauh ini gue suka tinggal disini, mungkin karna faktor bahasa lebih mudah kali ya? Cuman yang gak gue suka dari sini adalah... ya! harganya! Dibandingkan Perancis disini lebih mahal jadi saya cepat tekor hahaha. Ayo saya pasti bisa hemat! 

Gue juga suka banget sama kampusnya, karena pelajaran yang gue ambil adalah yang bener2 gue minati. Walaupun disini tugasnya menurut gue lebih berat daripada Perancis, tapi justru gue lebih mengerti pelajarannya karena itu. Fasilitasnya juga oke, dan sering ada events untuk mahasiswa2nya.

Di kampus gue juga ada kelas Gamelan Jawa! So cool. Mulai minggu depan gue mau ikutan wish me luck yesss. 

Waktu baru dateng juga gue join grup saman dan I really enjoy it! Kebetulan emang lagi kangen saman karena terakhir tampil saman pas FCI 2016 di Lyon. 

Well, that's all I can say for now. Semoga saya tidak lupa untuk menulis lagi disini haha, because this blog's been with me sejak diriku 13 tahun.. and now I'm 20! Oh how time flies. 

See you later aligator, dan ini beberapa foto yang gue ambil pakai kamera analog :) 

Leaving Lyon

Halo! 

Udah lama banget banget ngga nulis, dan skrng tiba2 lagi pengen nulis aja (padahal mestinya belajar, lol). Terakhir kali ngepost lagi farewell mau ke Lyon, eh sekarang postnya udah mau ninggalin Lyon. 

2 tahun itu cepet banget ya ternyata. Udah banyak yang gue lewati, kayak ketemu orang2 baru, belajar banyak di kampus, dan bahkan sekarang gue jadi ketua PPI Lyon! Hal yang gak akan pernah gue sangka haha. 

So far, I really enjoy Lyon. Kotanya besar, tapi terjangkau banget kemana-mana. Jadi besar tapi kecil, hem. Dan menurut gue pewe banget, dan tengah kotanya super cantik. Bagian favorit gue adalah daerah bukitnya yaitu Fourviere, karna kita bisa lihat pemandangan seluruh kota Lyon dari situ. 

Selama dua tahun ini, jujur banyak ups and dowsnya, ada kala ngerasa betah banget, ada kala dimana gue resah banget. Ya c'est normal sih. Karena tbh, gue masih gatau arah hidup gue kemana beberapa lama yang lalu, bahkan sekarang juga, tapi udah mendingan sih hehe. 

Kalau boleh jujur, hal yang bikin gue gak betah adalah kuliahnya aja. Karna gue belajar banyak mata pelajaran yang ga sesuai perminatan gue, berhubung disini kita ngga bisa milih matpelnya. So, sistemnya kayak SMA dimana kita harus ngikutin semua pelajaran yang dikasih. Secara sistem pembelajarannya juga gue kurang sreg, karna literally teori doang dan kurang pengaplikasiannya, dan menurut gue itu sangat disayangkan banget padahal kita anak bahasa. 

Kadang kala gue ada rasa nyesel, tapi selalu gue brush off that feeling cause kita harus selalu bersyukur ya gengs! Tsah. Setelah memutar otak untuk keluar dari rasa resah ini, akhirnya gue mencari solusi lain, 'apa gue coba Erasmus ya?'. 

Jadi, Erasmus itu program exchange antar negara di Eropa, dan dari dulu gue pengen banget belajar di Inggris tapi super mehong disana :'). Nah dengan program ini, kita bisa exchange ke negara Eropa mana aja tapi bayarnya harga kampus kita yang asli. Alhamdulillahnya, kampus gue di Lyon ini harganya terjangkau banget, bahkan lebih murah daripada negri di Indo. Jadi gue mikirinya, kapan lagi belajar di Inggris dengan harga murah? 

Bulan Oktober kemarin akhirnya diadakan seminar tentang program ini, tanpa basa-basi gue langsung kabarin orang tua gue tentang ini. Dan syukur, mereka sangat mendukung gue.

Setelah itu gue ambil ujian TOEIC. Sekitar bulan November, gue kasih semua dokumennya, kayak motivation letter, nilai, TOEIC, dll. Dan bulan Desember, akhirnya gue dapat jadwal untuk interview.  Deg-degan banget parah sih pas mau interview, tapi ternyata interviewnya ga nyampe 5 menit, lol. Pertanyaannya standar sih kayak kenapa mau keluar, punya pengalaman kerja apa gak, dan apa ya lupa :/

Jujur, gue super pesimis karna nilai gue tuh pas banget di rata-rata. Susah banget bo dapet nilai super bagus :') 

Ohiya, gue daftarnya di Kingston, Birmingham, Manchaster, dan Leeds.

Nevertheless, Lyon will always have a part in my life and will forever remain as one of my life chapters. Until next time <3 span="">

Another day, another farewell.

H-3 pindah pun tiba. Hari itu gue adain perpisahan dan ngundang beberapa temen2;

Seneng sekaligus haru karna saat itu emang udah lama ngga ketemu temen2 karna pada sibuk dengan urusan kuliah masing2. Untung waktu itu pilih tanggal yang pas jadi hampir semua orang dateng 😁 

Sebagai 'penutup acara' (azek) kita terbangin lampion (sayang engga ada fotonya huhu) dannnn sempet deg2an sih karna sempet ngga terbang gitu untung ada Mama yang ngedorong dari lantaI atas haha. Pada akhirnya terbang tinggi dan entah jatuh dimana semoga engga ada korban ya hehehe. 

Ceritanya lampionnya adalah harapan kita semua, ibaratnya mungkin awal2nya emang susah untuk terbang, tapi setelah dicoba ulang2 pasti akan terbang, seperti cita2 kita yoyoy. Gue optimis gue dan teman2 yang lain bisa sukses di jalan dan cita2nya masing2, perpisahan hanyalah sementara, so i'll see you when I see you :)

Growing Up

Well, hello again!

hm.... udah lama banget banget nggak nulis hehe rasanya aneh banget setelah sekian lama. terakhir ngepost di blog ini tanggal 5 April 2012, artinya udah 3 tahun yang lalu. kalau dibaca lagi, rasanya nggak nyangka sekarang gue udah begini. selama 3 tahun terakhir, banyak banget yang udah berubah dalam hidup gue. dan, kalau dibaca lagi, lucu dan jijik aja dengan diri gue sendiri yang dulu haha, masa-masa labil dan tanpa arah (sekarang juga masih labil sih hem). 

selama tiga tahun ini, udah banyak hal yang gue lewati. mulai dari ketemu dan berpisah dengan banyak temen, pindah lagi ke Indonesia, masuk Sma Labschool Cibubur dan jadi anak baru di kelas 11, dan dalam sekejap sekarang gue udah mau kuliah aja. bener bener nggak kerasa! seperti kata quotes, times flies when you have a good time. ea.

saat membaca postan blog gue yang lama, ada rasa ingin ketawa, haru, dan bangga. 

ketawa karna kelabilan gue di masa awal banget remaja;

haru dan bangga gue bisa ngelewatin semua rintangan yang gue hadepin dulu. and look where it lead me as the person I am now :)

kayanya segini dulu aja, instinct nulis gue belum lancar soo bisa dibilang ini masih pemanasan haha.

gue udah niat pengen nulis lagi, biar bisa gue baca ulang, and laugh at my own words. see ya! 

1 tahun, 3 bulan.

Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb. akhirnya setelah sekian lama gak ngurus blog gue ingin menulis lg. ehem ehem


Daaaaaaaaaaaan..1 tahun pun berlalu disini. Gak kerasa banget ya? perasaan baru 3 bulan disini skrng udah 1 tahun 3 bulan aja :') post yang 3 months itu udah mau stahun nulisnya huaaa.


Gue bingung bgt harus cerita dari mana karna udah lama gak cerita hemm. Ya intinya semua berjalan dengan baik sampai sini WASSALAM!

My life in the past 5 months.

HELLO EVERYBODY! Udah lama banget nggak buka blog haha. oleh karna itu sekarang gue akan menceritakan apa yang terjadi selama 5 bulan ini :)


Juni 
Alhamdulillah gue akhirnya selesai kelas FLEI ( kelas bahasa ) dan sudah sedikit bisa bhs prancisnya. Hari terakhir sekolah itu 20an juni kalau engga salah gue lupa eheh. jadi di hari itu kita masih ada belajar2nya gitu pas paginya, nah stelah udah belajar2 pas siangnya setiap siswa harus bawa makanan ciri khas dari setiap negaranya :D karna gue bingung mau bawa apaan ke sekolahm akhirnya gue bawa kacang garuda wkwk tapi akhirnya kagak di buka juga :| dan begonya gue gak milih bawa kerupuk pas udah pulangnya-_-. Anyway, akhirnya pas siang2 kita makan2 tuh, makan2nya dari negara mereka sendiri. Setelah selesai makan2, kita mash ada pelajaran olahraga, sebelum kitakeluar, kita pamitan sama Madamme PETIT Pas. Dia guru bhs prancis gue di kelas itu. dia orangnya baik cuman pas lg marah beuh nyeselin bangetdz. kita foto2 di kls pake iPadnya Abdul. & gak nyangka itulah terakhir kalinya gue ngeliat dia lg. hm karna dia sekarang dia udah meninggal :( lebih baik gue gak membahas itu deh hiks. 
Lanjut, setelah kita keluar kelas kita semua langsung lari-lari kesenengan eitss tapi baru inget ternyata msh ada olahraga huhu. udah tuh akhirnya main basket kan, akhirnya kita keluar dari gerbang dan langsung HORAAAAAY! Haha serasa udah lulus kuliah ae. soalnya akhirnya kita LIBUR!!! nah udah tuh kan kita peluk2an pamit2an dan lain-lain. disaat itu 'something hits me'. gue  sadar ternyata gue harus pisah lagi sama temen-temen. disaat gue udah lumayan akrab sama mereka. sedih gak sih ?! apa2 pisaaah lagi ujung2nya hiks T^T tapi yasudahlah memang takdirnya di pisahkan eaaa. ini beberpa fotonya :